Welcome to the FREE 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™
Starting February 1, 2017 take this FREE Challenge and grow your self esteem!
To Esteem [ih-steem] verb (used with object)
Definition To regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration
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Make sure you don’t miss the FREE challenge. Sign up here! A verification email will be sent to your inbox. To receive your FREE daily self-esteem challenge please click on the verification link! If you are on the Emergent Thoughts newsletter list you still need to sign up separately for the FREE challenge.
Why (Radical) Self-Love?
Why radical self-love? Well, let me start by asking you, “what level of ‘regard, respect and admiration’ do you have for yourself?” Even if the answer is, “a lot”, then let me ask, “is there any room for improvement?” Most people I have met, answer the first question with some version of “not enough” or “very little”. (And if you happen to be one of the few that has so much radical self-love that it spills out everywhere, then I am extremely happy for you!!! Please know, you are also one of the few. For most of us, there is room for improvement.)
Much has been written and researched on the power of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love. It is well known that low self-esteem plays a defining role in our happiness and success in life.
In the 1940’s, Maxwell Maltz, author of The New Psycho-cybernetics and cosmetic surgeon, noticed that when people had a “mutilated self-image” they lacked self-esteem and self-confidence. No amount of cosmetic surgery could fix that unless the mutilation of the self-image was corrected, or healed. He also noted that whatever image people held of themselves, was exactly what they lived in their lives. In essence, we ultimately behave in the manner in which we perceive ourselves!
When we have high self-esteem, when we hold ourselves in high regard and see ourselves as valuable in our own right, we begin to behave differently. When we behave differently, we build different habits. Over time, those habits become our life.
The BEST news? Self-esteem can be learned! It can be improved! And, more importantly, old habits and beliefs can be CHANGED!!
YOU can have RADICAL self-love!
What is (Radical) Self-Love?
Radical self-love is a movement, started by Sonya Renne Taylor, that encourages “unapologetic self-love and body empowerment.” It is the refusal “to be held hostage by the Body Terrorism of the media and of the forces of social inequality”. –Sonya Renee Taylor
I love the work Sonya has begun. She is teaching people to love their bodies no matter what it looks like (size, disabilities, burns and more).
However, Radical Self-Love does not stop at our body image. Self-love includes every aspect of our mind, heart, and spirit as well! Radical Self-Love is SOUL empowerment! It is unconditional and unapologetic high regard for ourselves as a soul that was born into this world, and our innate right to respect and care simply because we exist!
When we truly esteem ourselves, we hold ourselves in high regard in ALL 7 Arenas of Life. We do that by embracing what I call The Seven-Selves
What are The Seven-Selves™: The 7 Aspects of Self-Love?
The Seven-Selves™, or Seven Aspects of Self-Love, were born from a combination of my own personal healing work, and the work I have done with my clients in my private practice. The Seven-Selves™ became formalized when I was attempting to explain to several of my clients how certain behaviours equaled self-violence and self-abuse.
The clients in question were all struggling with self-esteem issues. Their challenges often lead us to conversations on how people who REALLY (unconditionally and unapologetically) love themselves behave. I was attempting to find language to define what I had learned in my own process of finding self-love, as well as, to create criteria these individuals could use to gauge if they were acting in unconditional and unapologetic self-love.
At first, I only worked with four of the selves: Self-Acceptance, Self-Trust, Self-Compassion, and Self-Care. As our work progressed, however, I realized there were more than four selves. As I explored the question, “How do people who REALLY unconditionally and unapologetically love themselves behave?”, the other three selves (Self-Value, Self-Restitution, and Self-Preservation) became clear.
The Seven-Selves™ are a culmination of the teachings and learnings I have received from over 20 years of learning to love myself. It is my desire to share them anyone who finds them helpful. That is why I have created the 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™ and The Radical Self-Love Academy Coaching Program™ that focus on, and explore, how these Seven-Selves™ are present (or not present) in our lives.
The Seven-Selves™ are:
- Self-Acceptance: Unconditional acceptance of who we are will all of our imperfections and magnificence.
- Self-Compassion: Having compassion, understanding and kindness with ourselves that some days life is challenging and we may be dealing with difficulties.
- Self-Care: Caring for and meeting our needs in all Seven Arenas of Life (See below for details).
- Self-Value: When we value something it is important and has meaning for us. This is valuing ourselves as our most prized possession.
- Self-Restitution: Restitution is part of forgiveness. It means “restoring to wholeness”. How do we make restitution to ourselves for what we have done to ourselves in the past, and how do we restore ourselves from the harm others have done.
- Self-Trust: Eliminating self-doubt, taking accurate stock of ourselves and increasing our skills and discernment.
- Self-Preservation: Loving ourselves enough to not put ourselves in harms-way in the first place. (This does not mean we “stay safe” or avoid risks, it means we are able to distinguish between taking risks that lead to self-grown and harmful habits that are part of our self-sabotage.
What are The Seven Arenas of Life in which we express our Self-Love?
There are many versions of the Arenas of our Life available through a variety of work. If there this a version you prefer, please feel free to use it and combine it with the Seven-Selves™. The purpose of the Seven Arenas is to get people thinking about the areas of their life and how they are treating themselves in those arenas.
The Seven Arenas of Life are:
- Mental: These are our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and values about ourselves. This includes our inner dialogue and what we say to ourselves. In essence, what goes on in our heads.
- Emotional: These are our feelings, emotions, and dreams. This is what goes on in our heart.
- Physical: This is our body and physical health, and also our physical environment.
- Spiritual: This can be our faith and spiritual practice, it is also our passion, fire & creativity.
- Career: Meaningful work can be paid or unpaid. It is the way we contribute to the world.
- Financial: Our attitudes and behaviours around money are one of the most tell-tale aspects of self-love. This is NOT how much you make (although that can be a factor) it is how we treat money and our relationship with it.
- Relationships: These are all the meaningful relationships in our lives: romantic, children, parents, siblings, extended family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances. And of course, the most important relationship—the one we have with ourselves.
The FREE 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™ – Starting February 1st, 2016
Are you ready for the Challenge? I am inviting you to join me in creating more self-esteem in your life through the FREE 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™.
It’s easy!! Simply click on the registration button above, beside the video. You will then be asked to enter your email address and do some verification stuff. (This is to protect you from spammers and helps us know you are serious about taking the challenge!)
Every day, starting on February 1st, you will receive your FREE Daily Esteem-Dose by email. This is the Radical, Unapologetic and Unconditional Self-Love Note of the day! You can use this Love-Note any way you like. You can sit with, reflect on, walk with it, journal about it, do it collaboratively with your friends, or use any way it serves you best.
You can also follow us on Facebook, twitter, and LinkedIn! Please invite friends and family to participate in the challenge. It’s so much more fun to do this with others. And, let’s face it, with all the stress so many of us face, most of us want and need more possibility in our lives! You can also join the 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™ group on Facebook.
Want even more self-love?? Join me for the Radical Self-Love Academy™! (Info below).
I don’t think my parents ever sat down and had conversation about how they would consciously and deliberately raise a child with horrendously low self-esteem. I think my parents were a product of their own upbringing, the same way I was a product of mine. I think they parented me the way they were parented by their parents, which is to control through guilt, shaming and berating. The result, however, was the raising of a child who spent the early portion of her life thinking she was stupid, ugly and utterly incompetent in every way.
In my 20s, I struggled with clinical depression so severely that I could not lift the chairs around my dining room table. My low self-esteem and high self-loathing played a huge role in this depression. After all, it’s hard to be happy when you hate yourself.
The medical model of medication and talk therapy was not effective for me. The anti-depressants didn’t agree with my system. Talk therapy helped me feel better in the moment, but didn’t actually heal the depression. This model does work well for many people, and if you are one of those people, I am very glad for you. In my case, that lack of success with traditional approaches started me on a journey to find other modalities that would help me create wellness.
The three modalities that worked best for me are: the personal development movement, transformational coaching and hypnosis. While these approaches are not in any way a replacement for medical support, they are wonderful complimentary approaches that can be used to support traditional treatments. Which is why, I became certified in them and use these tools to help others.
One day, during my recovery from depression, I was taking a restorative yoga class when my teacher, Camilla, said to us, “EVERYTHING comes down to SELF-LOVE. All other things in your life are extensions of how much you love yourself.”
At the time, I rolled my eyes at her. Later, I came to firmly agree with her. My journey over the last 20 years has been to cultivate RADICAL self-love. I have studied with many teachers. They all echoed Camilla’s words in some way. Self-love has become a daily practice, like a type of living meditation for me.
From this process of learning to radically love myself, The Seven-Selves: the 7 Aspects of Self-love were born. A process I have come to use in my practice with my clients.
I would like to share them with you, and that is why I have created the 30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge™! Please join me.
Want MORE Self-Love? Stay tuned for news on the Radical Self-Love Academy coming soon!!! This is a 6-week group coaching program designed to help you reach RADICAL heights of Self-Love!